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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23149894">When I've Thrown Off the Weight of this Crazy Stone</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleia/pseuds/aleia'>aleia</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>My Salvation [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Developing Relationship, Episode: s01e10 Austin We Have A Problem, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:29:15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,594</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23149894</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleia/pseuds/aleia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Filling the gaps between the TK scenes and after the end of the episode for the season 1 finale.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Judd Ryder &amp; TK Strand, Owen Strand &amp; TK Strand</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>My Salvation [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1683085</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>477</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong>👮♂Carlos 🔥:</strong> How are you feeling?<br/>
<strong>TK:</strong> I’ll live.<br/>
<strong>👮♂Carlos 🔥:</strong> I heard. Michelle told me.<br/>
<strong>TK:</strong> My dad said you came to the hospital.<br/>
<strong>👮♂Carlos 🔥: </strong>Are you mad about that?<br/>
<strong>TK:</strong> No. I’m not a total dick.<br/>
<strong>👮♂Carlos 🔥:</strong> It’s just that he said he’d call me if there was a change, but I heard from Michelle.<br/>
<strong>TK:</strong> I’m not really feeling up to visitors yet.<br/>
<strong>👮♂Carlos 🔥:</strong> …Ok. Do you know when you get to go home?<br/>
<strong>TK:</strong> Tomorrow maybe.<br/>
<strong>👮♂Carlos 🔥:</strong> I guess just let me know when you want a visitor. You know I don’t expect you to be entertaining, right? You weren’t entertaining the last time I saw you and I still wanted to be there.<br/>
<strong>TK:</strong> I know. I’ll text you.</p>
<p>“Carlos?” his dad asks.</p>
<p>TK nods. He knows that he’s being an asshole.</p>
<p>“I told you he was going to find out even if I didn’t call him,” his dad says. “And you’re my kid, so I’ll break lots of promises to other people for you, but I might have to apologize for this one eventually. You know, he sat here with you and slept in this chair when I had to leave. As the other person who’s been sleeping in this chair, I can tell you how much he cares about you because I’m going to need a massage every day if I ever want to stop feeling it.”</p>
<p>“I told you he’s not my boyfriend. I can’t believe he did that.”</p>
<p>Except he can believe it. His dad doesn’t point out that the few times he had to get checked out in New York, Alex never came to the hospital. Alex never cooked him dinner either. Carlos has cooked for him him three times. Carlos offered to stop keeping alcohol in his house. Carlos insists on never drinking more than a beer or two when they go out, and he’s made it clear that he’d rather just be sober than not see TK. Sitting by his hospital bed and making his father feel better about going home to sleep is just something Carlos would do because he’s a better person than TK.</p>
<p>“Just because he’s a good man doesn’t mean you have to be ready for another relationship.”</p>
<p>TK nods again. He should let Carlos come visit at the hospital so that his dad will feel better about going home to shower, but that still feels like too much.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p><strong>TK: </strong>When are you off shift?<br/>
<strong>🤠 Judd:</strong> Hours ago. You need something?<br/>
<strong>TK: </strong>Did you get any sleep?<br/>
<strong>🤠 Judd: </strong>Plenty.<br/>
<strong>TK:</strong> Can you come hang out so my dad will go home and shower? He won’t leave.<br/>
<strong>🤠 Judd: </strong>Your cop isn’t there?<br/>
<strong>TK:</strong> Can we not?<br/>
<strong>🤠 Judd:</strong> You’re obviously an only child. Be there in half an hour. Grace wants to know if you can have outside food.<br/>
<strong>TK:</strong> I can. Actually, can you just send Grace instead?<br/>
<strong>🤠 Judd:</strong> Not a chance, kid. Not a chance in hell.</p>
<p>*</p>
<p>Judd gets his dad to leave and brings him the best dinner he’s ever had, but as soon as they’re alone, he sits back in the chair and grins.</p>
<p>“So that’s your type, huh?”</p>
<p>“I don’t have a type,” TK says.</p>
<p>“Marjan says he’s everyone’s type. Mateo says he might be a little more open than he thought he was. I’m thinking now that you’re awake and he’s not crying at your bedside, it’s about time for me to have a talk with him.”</p>
<p>TK groans and lets his head fall back against the pillow.</p>
<p>“Please don’t. He’s not even really my boyfriend.”</p>
<p>“Spent a lot of time holding your hand for someone who’s not your boyfriend. Had me beat on tears, too.”</p>
<p>“Why didn’t it occur to me that you’d be worse than my dad?”</p>
<p>“Because you’ve never had a big brother.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p><strong>TK: </strong>Feeling a lot better. What’s your day off? Get boba with me?<br/>
<strong>👮♂Carlos 🔥:</strong> Boba? Really?<br/>
<strong>TK:</strong> I love boba. I looked on yelp and found a place. Are you honestly against boba?<br/>
<strong>👮♂Carlos 🔥:</strong> I’ve never had it.<br/>
<strong>TK:</strong> What?!?!?! 😱 😱 😱 How? Do you not like fun??<br/>
<strong>👮♂Carlos 🔥: </strong>I’m off tomorrow. Just tell me when and where.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>TK understands that his dad had to keep working after he pushed TK toward the ambulance. He’s not selfish enough to ask his dad to stop helping people when he’s fine. He doesn’t expect to find Carlos waiting when he gets released. Carlos stands up when they see each other, but he doesn’t come toward TK. He stuffs his hands awkwardly in his jean pockets and shrugs.</p>
<p>“Your dad assumed I’d go with you and get you home. I didn’t have time to explain that you ended things.”</p>
<p>“You still could’ve let me just call an Uber.”</p>
<p>Carlos shrugs and looks down.</p>
<p>“I wasn’t sure your phone would work. It’s not a big deal. I’ll just drop you at home and go, okay?”</p>
<p>“Can you drop me at the station instead? I need to do something. My dad won’t mind if I go there instead. I can shower and sleep there until he gets back.”</p>
<p>Carlos nods and leads the way out of the hospital to his car. When they get inside, TK puts his hand on Carlos’s arm before he can start the engine. Their boba date seems like it was days ago and not mid-morning. Carlos looks at him and doesn’t insist on starting the car, but he doesn’t say anything.</p>
<p>“I didn’t mean to end things,” TK says even though he can’t look at Carlos while he’s talking. “It was an accident. I didn’t ask you to get boba with me so I could say I didn’t want to see you anymore. For one thing, that might make you hate boba and that’s just not cool.”</p>
<p>TK doesn’t even get a hint of a smile when he finally looks up.</p>
<p>“It’s okay. I meant what I said when I said it’s okay. Somethings just aren’t meant to be. I’m not mad at you, TK. I have feelings for you, but you never promised me anything. You didn’t do anything wrong,” Carlos says, but he still looks unhappy.</p>
<p>Carlos pulls out of his grip and moves to start the car, but TK takes his hand instead.</p>
<p>“I told you that I needed to go slow. And then all these things happened, and I almost died. Again. I didn’t want to end <em>everything</em>, but you wanted answers I didn’t have. And if you needed that and I couldn’t give it to you…” TK trails off because he doesn’t want to finish the sentence. Because he wants Carlos, but he can’t promise that he won’t be messed up again tomorrow.</p>
<p>He expects that to be the end of it, but Carlos doesn’t pull his hand away.</p>
<p>“Again. You almost died <em>again</em>?”</p>
<p>“When I relapsed. I ODed. My heart stopped. My dad had to have our team break into my apartment. They had to restart my heart. It’s why he made me move down here with him and live with him. He agreed to report it as an accident if I came here with him.” TK doesn’t look up. He’s not even sure what he’s afraid to see.</p>
<p>“Baby.” Carlos cups his cheek and makes TK look at him. His eyes might be watery or that might just be TK. “I didn’t realize it was that serious. And you’re right. You said you needed time and I said I’d give it to you, but then I pushed. I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“I’m really messed up and I won’t blame you if you’re tired of dealing with it, but I don’t really want us to be over.” TK’s voice cracks and Carlos undoes his seatbelt so that he can lean into TK’s space and pull him in.</p>
<p>“Okay. It’s okay. We can talk about it. I got freaked out because you were in the hospital and I pushed too hard. I won’t push. I can give you time.”</p>
<p>TK nods into his chest.</p>
<p>“But can you please try to stay out of the hospital for just a few weeks for me,” Carlos says. “It’s easier to give you time when I know that we have it.”</p>
<p>TK laughs and wipes away the few tears that have slipped out.</p>
<p>“Yeah. I promise to work really hard on that.”</p>
<p>“Still want to go to the firehouse?” Carlos asks.</p>
<p>“Yeah. I figured a few things out. I need to talk to everyone.” It’s something he would’ve figured out eventually, but not as quickly if today hadn’t happened. Maybe not until he’d lost Carlos completely. Carlos is gorgeous and sweet and amazing in bed. It’s ridiculous that Carlos wasn’t locked down a long time ago.</p>
<p>“Okay.” Carlos buckles his seat belt and finally starts the car.</p>
<p>When they get to the station, TK stops Carlos from getting out of the car.</p>
<p>“I’ll be fine. I have clothes here and as much as I’d like to tell you to help me in the shower, I think we should talk before we go back there. Go home, shower, and change because you’ve been in the heat all day and you’re as gross as I am. My team will be off shift in a couple hours. If you want to come get me after you smell better, you can. If you want to. It’s cool if you want to just go home.”</p>
<p>Carlos rolls his eyes and pulls him in for a kiss.</p>
<p>“I want to. Don’t slip in the shower and get hurt again while I’m gone.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Getting fully into Carlos’s arms isn’t something TK really knew he needed until he’s there. They should leave because his dad is already watching them and if they take too long, the rest of the team will come back out and make a show. But TK still lets Carlos hold him as long as he wants.</p>
<p>“How’re you feeling?” Carlos asks with his face still buried in TK’s neck.</p>
<p>“Fine. Not like I need to go home and rest. I took a nap.”</p>
<p>“Okay then. Are you okay if I pick where we go?”</p>
<p>“Sure. But if you’re taking me somewhere to kill me and hide the body, my dad isn’t going to apologize for not calling you as soon as I woke up. He’s kind of attached to me.”</p>
<p>“He’s not the only one.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“You want me to sit on your car? You’re going to sit on your car? You’re wearing jeans. What if you scratch the paint job?” TK still isn’t used to the way they can just drive a few miles out of the city and it’s like they’re in the middle of nowhere.</p>
<p>“It already got scratched today. This is Texas. We don’t need everything to be perfect and shiny.” Carlos climbs on the hood of his car and lies down with his back against the windshield.</p>
<p>“Yeah? Since when are you working on a ranch? This isn’t a truck. It’s a sports car. And I just showered. When did you last wash your car?” It’s a miracle already that neither of their cars were more damaged in all the chaos outside the juice bar. But there was dirty water everywhere.</p>
<p>“Right before I picked you up because I know that I’m seeing a city boy.” Carlos waves for him to get on the car already.</p>
<p>“I’m not even that picky. You have no idea what guys are like in the city,” TK says as he climbs on top of the car next to Carlos. He’s still not used to the night sky when it’s not hidden by city lights. Tonight, it’s an entirely new kind of beauty. “It’s ridiculous that something so beautiful caused so much chaos.”</p>
<p>Carlos turns his head and studies him.</p>
<p>“I’m getting used to it. I think it’s worth it.”</p>
<p>TK laughs and swats him lightly.</p>
<p>“I’m not sure if I should be flattered or insulted.”</p>
<p>“Flattered,” Carlos says with a smile.</p>
<p>“If you say so.”</p>
<p>TK stares at the sky. Austin still doesn’t feel as comfortable as New York did, but TK doesn’t think that he can go back and face New York either. He’s been in Austin for months. His friends have asked when he’s going to come back and visit, but he hasn’t just stayed away because they’ve been busy. But it’s not like Austin has felt like home either. Until now. He couldn’t commit to Carlos when he wasn’t sure and he was still thinking of New York as home, but it doesn’t feel like that anymore.</p>
<p>“What’re you thinking?</p>
<p>“I’m thinking…we make a pretty good team,” TK says.</p>
<p>“We really do, don’t we?” Carlos says. When TK turns to look at him, he’s smiling.</p>
<p>“’Fraid so.” TK finds his hand, threads their fingers together, and pulls their clasped hands to him.</p>
<p>“There hasn’t been anyone else since you asked me out and we went to that bar. You knew that, right?” TK asks. “Not that I’m going to be mad if there was for you. I’ve never said anything.”</p>
<p>“There hasn’t been anyone else since I got you to line dance with me,” Carlos says.</p>
<p>TK can’t say that. He hooked up with Carlos in the first place because he wanted to feel something and when Carlos made him feel too much, he freaked out and went looking elsewhere.</p>
<p>“Hey. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Carlos squeezes the hand he’s holding.</p>
<p>TK nods.</p>
<p>“That day at the police station…” TK forces himself to look Carlos in the eye even though he doesn’t want to. “I went home and thought about you. I wanted to go over to your house uninvited and beg you to let me back in your bed. It was so pathetic. I didn’t even want sex. I just wanted to let you take care of me. Thankfully, you asked me out before I could make a fool of myself.”</p>
<p>“I would’ve let you come over. I would’ve refused to have sex with you…but I would’ve let you in my bed.” Carlos raises their hands to his lips and kisses the back of TK’s hand before he smiles. “Of course, that’s kind of hard to believe considering that you spent our whole first date complaining about Judd.”</p>
<p>TK nods and looks back at the sky before admitting, “I know. I can’t believe you didn’t ditch me after that.”</p>
<p>“You seemed like you needed someone to talk to.”</p>
<p>“I did. So much. I couldn’t tell my friends in New York because I hadn’t been talking to them about how it wasn’t perfect,” TK admits. “And I didn’t have any friends in Austin outside the firehouse. I still don’t.”</p>
<p>“You know I’ll be here even if we’re just friends, right?”</p>
<p>“I know. But that’s not why I’ve been like this.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Carlos says. Then he stays quiet and moves his thumb to stroke TK’s hand.</p>
<p>“I wasn’t sure Austin was home yet. My dad made me come here. I was still thinking that I might just go back once I proved I wasn’t so messed up that I’d try to kill myself if I went back to New York without him.”</p>
<p>“Cariño.” Carlos shifts closer to him.</p>
<p>“It feels like home now though. I realized that today,” TK says before they can dwell on his confession.</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“We can say boyfriend now. If you still want that. I get it if you don’t.”</p>
<p>Carlos shifts again and props himself so that he’s looking down at TK.</p>
<p>“You’re going to scratch up your car.”</p>
<p>“I have to get the paint fixed anyway,” Carlos says against his lips before he kisses away TK’s arguments. “Of course, I still want it. If you’re sure.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure,” TK tilts his head up for a longer kiss. “I’m not having sex on the hood of your car though. Or bent over it. There’s way too much dirt to not have a blanket.”</p>
<p>Carlos laughs.</p>
<p>“<em>You</em> aren’t having sex. You already pulled your stitches today. Your father likes me. I’m not messing that up. There’s no way you’re already approved for that much physical activity.”</p>
<p>TK groans but he lets Carlos coax him closer until he’s tucked against Carlos’s side.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“Sorry. My dad’s still a little freaked out. I just had to talk him into going back to work. I told him I’d come home tonight,” TK says when they get back in the car and he checks his phone. There’s an embarrassing number of texts from his dad trying to pretend that he’s not checking in.</p>
<p>“It’s okay. He did pull you out of a burning bus before you were even cleared to go back to work.”</p>
<p>“He wants me to make sure you know that he’s not old-fashioned and you’re welcome to stay over at the house,” TK says.</p>
<p>“Seriously?” Carlos pulls away from him like his dad is in the car with them.</p>
<p>“I’m twenty-six.”</p>
<p>“And when I tell my mama about the cradle I’m robing, she will remind me that gay marriage being legal means I have no way around her rules,” Carlos says. TK fights the instinct to smooth out the wrinkles Carlos gets on his forehead when he’s talking about anything serious.</p>
<p>“We’re from New York, not Texas.” TK points out.</p>
<p>“And what? You turned eighteen and you were allowed to have guys over?”</p>
<p>“I was fifteen,” TK says. He tells himself that he just wants to see the look on Carlos’s face.</p>
<p>“Fifteen?”</p>
<p>He can tell the short version, or he can tell the version that lets Carlos know him.</p>
<p>“My dad kind of disappeared after 9/11. He was taking care of the firehouse, and he kind of just left my mom to take care of me. It’s why she left. And why I lived with her until I was fifteen. He was too tied up in the firehouse and he just thought it was better for me to be with her since he was never around before they got divorced.”</p>
<p>Carlos doesn’t interrupt. He just takes TK’s hand and holds on.</p>
<p>“I didn’t want to come out. I thought it would make things worse. I thought I’d see my dad even less. So, I didn’t tell them. And my mom would get sucked into lawsuits and barely notice what was going on with me as long as the school didn’t call her. The guy that I liked was a couple of years older. He got me into drugs. The first time I ODed, it <em>was</em> an accident and it wasn’t so serious. I wasn’t even really addicted yet. After I could go home, my dad took time off to be with me. He was home so much that eventually he figured out that I was sneaking out to see Andre. He grounded me, but he said once that was over, Andre could come over because he’d rather have me safe at home with Andre than not know where I was if something happened to me. Before then, I was so sure that if my dad knew I was gay and he knew about the drugs, everything would be worse. But instead, he came back and he took time off. My mom hated it, but she let me stay with him when he wasn’t working.”</p>
<p>“Thank you for telling me.”</p>
<p>TK shrugs. It’s what Carlos has been asking for more than commitment or a label—for TK to just let Carlos know him.</p>
<p>“And he just let Andre stay over after that?”</p>
<p>“Well, my mom was right about one thing. Andre was an asshole. But later when there were other guys, he let them come over. I mean, there were <em>a lot</em> of embarrassing safety talks, but I think we’re past that. Plus, my dad already likes you.”</p>
<p>“He made it easy. He’s a good guy.”</p>
<p>“He’s never liked my boyfriends. He’s pretended a lot. He never wanted me to think I couldn’t introduce them again. But I know when he’s lying, You know how many times he’s tried to casually bring you up without obviously pushing me to call you?” TK grins and shifts to a bad impression of his father. “<em>Carlos</em> brought me food from this vegan place while you were in the hospital. You should try it. I saw <em>Carlos</em> on a call today. He was so good with these kids when they were scared. Michelle was telling about how much <em>Carlos</em> has helped her look for her sister.”</p>
<p>Carlos laughs, but after they’ve driven back to TK’s house, he doesn’t take the key out of the ignition.</p>
<p>“You might be from New York, but I’m not. I was raised to be respectful to my boyfriend’s parents unless I had a good reason not to be. I want him to keep liking me.”</p>
<p>“So, as my new boyfriend, come in and let me introduce you as my boyfriend.”</p>
<p>The way Carlos smiles at the word boyfriend makes TK wish he wasn’t banned from strenuous activity.</p>
<p>“He thinks we’re about the same age by the way,” TK says after they’re already out of the car. “No one has told him you’re six years older than his baby boy.”</p>
<p>“Really TK?” Carlos tries to turn back to the car, but TK tightens his grip on Carlos’s hand.</p>
<p>“Nope. Too late. He’s probably being weird and looking out the window, so he already saw you,” TK says. He takes a deep breath and turns so they’re facing each other before adding. “Also, I’d really like to go to sleep with you tonight if that’s okay.”</p>
<p>“Yeah baby, that’s okay.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know we don't know the age of Carlos and I'm not sure how old the actor is, but I feel like his friendship with Michelle means that he has to be at least a few years older than TK.</p>
<p>Also, I may actually write more of this. I'm off work because of Covid-19 so what else do I have to do except write ridiculous amounts of fiction? Should I keep going?</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The song I used for the title is Orange Sky by Alexi Murdoch. I know the sky wasn't orange, but while I loved the music in the episode, I know lots of people will use it and I love this song too for TK.</p><p>All my other stuff is Check Please or original stuff. I'm not sure if I'll write more in this fandom or not, but I really had this fic in my head. &lt;3</p><p>If you want to read all my other stuff it is posted on a different site or (if you just want to follow me on tumblr so I have more 9-1-1: Love Star people), I'm not to allowed to link it here, but the link to that can be found on<br/>my tumblr: @lostinanimage</p></blockquote><div class="children module" id="children">
  <b class="heading">Works inspired by this one:</b>
  <ul>
    <li>
        <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23671129">Here Is What I Know Now</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/aleia/pseuds/aleia">aleia</a>
    </li>
  </ul>
</div></div></div>
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